Pumpkins have been getting up in arms about the Occupy Wall St. movement. And it has become such a BIG issue that the media has completely ignored it. It takes something really BAD happening somewhere for the media to do that. 50 Tea Party demonstrators, or environmentalists, and suddenly it's 'democracy at work' or 'leftist agenda tools out in force'. Now thousands have gathered, and were summarily ignored for 20 (yes, TWENTY) days.
Pictured: Not News.
So with so many pumpkins getting park fever and eating fast food (which has arguably achieved the best job security in that sector since 2008), something has got to give. And here is a nice numbered list of how violence could happen. Some are very unlikely.
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5. Republicans
It is no great news to anyone that Republicans are out in force (in the safety of a television studio) to brand the protestors as variously: a mob, anti-American, anti-democracy, socialist, leftist, dangerous, hippies, purposeless, in need of jobs (at last, a truth, though they also have no inclination to create any at the expense of their buddies).
Hint: Only true Americans allowed in this picture.
After the media blackout failed to serve its purpose and make thousands of peop... pumpkins disappear like some existentialist reality breaking magic trick, Republicans have gone on the attack, but possibly to ill effect. When a bunch of disenchanted vegetables are told the exact same thing they expect to hear from those who are disenchanting them, the results are unlikely to be a longer fuse on your ticking TNT.
However, most protestors probably don't (or have stopped) watching Fox by now, so the effect Republicans are having on the group is pretty minimal. Perhaps someone with a fresher outlook?
4.5. Democrats
Democrats are now jumping on the bandwagon while the Republicans have been quick to decry the amount of civil disobedience that is happening (though Tea Party actions are all right because they are simply obeying the Republican line, which is sort of official, so there's civil power for you). Yet the pumpkins have remained steadfast in their belief that neither side is truly interested in what's good for them.
And they are probably right. And attempts to hijack the due process of this demonstration for election credits in the campaign season has become the norm. Democrats are quick to be on-side with the protestors, but there is a definite something lost in communication here.
The Democrats' 99%.
When every president (including a Democrat one) is elected on the back of a golden camel supplied mainly by the private sector, it's hard to see how letting the Democrats have their way will truly solve the problem in a dramatic, non-100-committees-and-counting manner. The pumpkins may well start behaving less civilly to prove a point. No one is on-side with them.
Still, the capital Ds are agreeing with the protestors, maybe it won't get violent until we bring in the calvary and...
4. Tea Party-ers
Leaving aside the fact that most Tea Party protestors have no idea what their namesake was protesting against in the first place, hardcore Tea Party-ers present a real threat to the continued non-violence of the demonstrations. While many have no doubt put away fake moustaches and tri-coloured top hats and joined in on the 99% movement, some of the hardliners might still be following Fox News and living in the land of 'good folks'.
Old fashioned Americanism sponsored by Google Adsense.
These are the same people who brought guns to presidential speeches, and the very same who believe that global warming is a conspiracy of the left. With Fox News fanning the hate for the Occupy movement, some right-leaning pumpkins might take it into their heads to get back out there, don their patriotism and bring along a rifle to make a point (what this point is is anyone's guess).
Guns: Just point.
Shouting matches are never rare when two opinionated groups meet, what happens if one small, heavily opinionated, armed to the teeth group met one it felt was a threat to its (and the nation's) identity? We imagine a veritable garden salad.
Before things got so out of hand, there's always a trusty presence nearby to break it up...
3. The Police
So far the police have been fairly restrained, short of some mass arrests, a few pepper-spray incidents on completely passive demonstrators, and violent, knee-in-back COPS style handcuffing. Nothing the pumpkins couldn't stand at any rate. Yet as the numbers mount, it's obvious that the parks and streets are going to overspill, and it's going to be pretty embarrassing for the police commissioner to explain to the banks that donated large amounts of money to the police force if the rich suddenly had to start rubbing shoulders with the poor as they walk down the road. If ignorance is bliss, they are doing their best to stay blissful.
Poor people: detrimental to bliss.
We could expect all police to act in a professional, non-inciteful manner, and not act out of personal prejudice and/or orders from higher up... or we can invest now in a hotel on the Moon. The latter would earn a higher return for expectation. As such, it's pretty easy to see that police may be 'forced' to take more extreme action (there's a lot of pizza being cut around the park, lots of times where "he's got a weapon!" might look valid at a squint).
image kudos: Liz and Laura.com
The weapon last appeared in the Case of the Vanishing Sausage.
And if that happens, the police will lose the happy illusion that keeps everything working. When it's survival of the most violent, most pumpkins find that they (the masses) have more physical clout than they (the small police force).
But lets face it, away from Police Academy and K-9 movies, no one likes the police, so they can't influence the people to riot just by being themselves, unless they were also...
2. Idiotic Journalists
Being called 'a hippie' for showing up at one of these protests is probably bad enough (especially when your friend calls you and says "hey I just saw you on TV, and you looked TOTALLY socialist!"). Then there are those that go out of their way to paint a mask of idiocy on the whole event.
Look at all those socialists!
Take dear Erin Burnett for example. In a simpering, simplified, visual-cue heavy interview, she managed to not only illustrate the fact that most pumpkins there were hippies ("not ALL of them were hippies") or freaks ("and that" - referring to an admittedly ghoulish representation of the human race, though that was the point), but that they had no idea why they were protesting.
She had no idea, so possibly the fact that they had some idea was too bewildering an idea for her to accept. I wasn't even there, but watching her 'report' still made the veins in my head throb. She's not the only one either, but probably the easiest on the eyes, and if you're going to listen to her whine and patronise her way through a complex issue (seriously?) then you might as well enjoy what you're looking at.
Enjoy! Earplugs recommended.
If nothing else will make the protestors violent, her next appearance in 'civilian camouflage' just might. Though another avenue seems the most likely to us...
1. Youtube (comments)
Enough said.
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