Since the movement started, Republicans, Democrats, Comedians and Socialist groups have all tried to take over the movement, with varying degrees of success. Given the highly distrustful nature of the group (hard to trust anyone who agreed with the banks or tried to deal with them now), it's been really hard for either big party to get a foot in, and they must therefore rely on 'grassroots groups'.
So what if you're a right-wing Liberal-party (Republican equivalent, only with less crazy), but you really want some of that protest loving (because your last rally here gathered about 40 people), how do you go about it? Well here we've written a helpful guide to co-opting the movement for personal bias in five, easy to follow steps. With an Occupy Sydney example!
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We will start with basic graphics and backgrounds for your new site. Ever since V for Vendetta came out, the mask used in the graphic novel/movie has become a symbol of people power, of the reawakening, of power in numbers, of... well, everything awesome about little people fighting big battles. His visage, cast in immortal plaster (or plastic), has again entered the public eye.
For a little person, he had a big hat.
One especially prominent group that uses this influence is Anonymous, and mostly they fight the fights that a single, disconnected person cannot fight (at last, the Internet has fulfilled its original military potential). As such, the mask that they use as their symbol as become well-known, and has been used by anyone who wants to seem to be on the side of 'the people'. We highly recommend the over-use of such a graphic to give credence that you're a grassroots movement...
Green Guy Fawkes background: The badge of grassroot integrity.
Step 2. Use 'Insider' Jargon.
The key is to use the correct jargon for the group you're seeming to support. For example, using a geek phrase wrongly to appeal to the demographic you think you're aiming for (while completely misunderstanding and misquoting what you're quoting). It helps if you can talk in a creepy way with lots of added pauses.
ALL YOUR BASE BELONG TO US
we are legion… we have found the culprit…. we know who you are… we know where you live… we are not amused….
Or by dragging the good name of Orwell through thick and thinly veiled nonsense slogans:
"The collective will assimilate you. Australia you are not immune. Welcome to 1984."
OscarSierra
This will send an appropriate amount of 'on-sideness' vibes to your docile audience. And while we're at it, we could also make up a variety of other things in 'Leftist code'. Hell, we will even provide visual stimuli, it has animals, animals are a totally left agenda item, ticks an extra box! Also, ignore punctuation and capitalisation rules for extra emphasis.
Wake. Up. To. The. truth. You're... living... Animal... Farm... in the OUTBACK!
Step 3. Make 'Shocking' Videos
Youtube has been the single greatest motivator for people to learn to use Windows Movie Maker. Ever. As such, it has also become the key platform of conspiracy followers and right/left-wing 'shock troopers'. Everyday, we're told a new truth about how our governments are literal puppets to the monetary system, but then, some people take it that one step further into the realm of...
Youtube: Philosopher, Historian, All-round Neo.
It matters not that you add complete nonsense like truths history class should have told you, when you happen to be talking about politics, legislative law, and economics, but it's still the teachers' fault! Or maybe it's the government, for controlling those teachers, or maybe it's the secret shadow puppetry workshop ordering their Royals to fuck up the Commonwealth for a good laugh (Wot ho! 2008, that was a bit of a giggle eh? Old Chap?).
Either way, you need a good conspiracy about some bank (in this case the Reserve Bank of Australia, which has been quite supportive of Union and Greens backed plans... and its administration has been given over to the Australian Prudential Regulation Authority. An odd choice for your leftist-appearing site, but it's all right! It has the word Bank in it). Never mind comparing track records of the banks and policies the RBA has supported. Complain about its .gov.au URL instead. This shows true solidarity with your Occupy Wall St. brothers.
We're the 99%, and we're coming for your .gov.au
Step 4. Talk About What's Important To YOU.
After all the hard work of looking on-side, you can now plaster your bigotry all over the site in the hopes of people taking the time to read some of that rubbish on their way to the forums where they will ask the all important "Where, when, how?" (Surprisingly few people ask "Why?" at this point). Disregard from this point onwards any pretence that you're not a Neo-Liberal/Tea-party conspiracy supporter, you've already roped in your audience, they are trapped now by your virtual ingenuity and awesome page design (make sure they have to scroll down for the crazy).
Nazis + Facepaint = Debating Victory.
Remember also to keep people on the right track on the forums, make sure to tell them that you're on their side, and especially agree with the following type of poster, making sure to at all times remind those worried about Corporations and their rampant destruction of nature is distracting from the real issue:
Socialists are ruining my revolution! Oh and they didn't study enough.
Muddy the waters if you can with idiotic suggestions (like bringing back the gold standard to Australia to deal with a debt problem we don't have). This part of your site is the most important, after doing all that pussy-footing around pretending to be a leftist hippie, you can now let go and finally get your true views out there amongst receptive audiences (who won't brand you a neoliberal nutcase off the bat because hey, you're leading the Occupy movement here, you must be in support of some socialist/anarchist policy right? After all, social-fairness and equality is what we want here, a slightly social-leaning system?).
Guess not.
All is not lost! Perhaps you can make sure one of your key issues hits a nerve with the Australian public (it is now safe to use misinformation and downright idiocy to get your point across to an unsupportive forum poster). Remember, it's your movement, you've co-opted it, now is the perfect time indeed to assert your swaggering ass and remind the people coming to your Occupy Sydney movement that it's about your ideals. If they start talking about the environment, it's distracting and destructive to the cause, if you're talking about it, it's a relevant, important conspi... truth. Regardless of how ludicrous it is, we will alienate people if you leave your point out.
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Completely in keeping with the Occupy Movement.
Step 5. Steal The Local Occupy URL ASAP.
We would have tried to take http://www.occupysydney.org for demonstration purposes (then given it back, honest) except it's already taken, and if you're one of those people that registers the punchline only when you feel pain, yes, all the samples we've used come from this site:
The internet: The Nutcase Collective, oh and cats.
Now that you have a platform to launch your views from refugees to lazy, unwashed hippies and their wealth distribution plan, you can safely ignore the fundamental ideology behind the Occupy Movement and turn it into an internet freak show. Either way, you're making your enemies look like you, and pushing that right-wing climate-hate and Tea-Party nostalgia (complete with Americanisms) on the Occupy wave.
God bless Australia.
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